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September 2008 
First Fast: One Last Hour, & It's Revelations
Posted on Jul 14th, 2008
by 
GwenCaith
GwenCaith
Dear Dear World and God;
I understand why, every now and then, some choose to fast. The deprivation of food was actually THE EASY fast; doing without television and radio, or outbound telephone calls has been truly humbling. I had no idea, how all that noise masked the loneliness I've felt.
Now, though, I have RESPECT. I sit here, writing the best writings I've done in months, knowing that I can hear The Divine, rather than commercials for mass produced distractions. It hasn't occurred to me, to check to compare my bossom to anyone elses', I have luxuriated, over the feel of foam as I did my dishes, in preparation for this time..
The physical fast has been challenging; I don't like a dull headache, all around, and yet, at some point, I had to let go of the tension that produces many of them. This also meant letting go of analyzing other peoples' motives, when I didn't want to face my own.
I have found compassion and a slowness to criticize; I've found that I'm not so willing to be who I am not. I have found that music is the red-headed woodpecker, knocking for food on the telephone pole outside my bedroom window, and I love that cacophony so much better than any Buddy Rich drum solo...
I understand, too, that to repeat this fast too often, would be to lose the spiritual and thought-insight I've gained. As I was bulimic in my teen years, this cannot become a way of purging or self-mutilation..
I understand now, that if tv and multimedia go away, I can subsist on so little.
There is so much more to life, than what I have done without..
Like my crochet, my life is varied and full, colorful and rich.
I understand why, every now and then, some choose to fast. The deprivation of food was actually THE EASY fast; doing without television and radio, or outbound telephone calls has been truly humbling. I had no idea, how all that noise masked the loneliness I've felt.
Now, though, I have RESPECT. I sit here, writing the best writings I've done in months, knowing that I can hear The Divine, rather than commercials for mass produced distractions. It hasn't occurred to me, to check to compare my bossom to anyone elses', I have luxuriated, over the feel of foam as I did my dishes, in preparation for this time..
The physical fast has been challenging; I don't like a dull headache, all around, and yet, at some point, I had to let go of the tension that produces many of them. This also meant letting go of analyzing other peoples' motives, when I didn't want to face my own.
I have found compassion and a slowness to criticize; I've found that I'm not so willing to be who I am not. I have found that music is the red-headed woodpecker, knocking for food on the telephone pole outside my bedroom window, and I love that cacophony so much better than any Buddy Rich drum solo...
I understand, too, that to repeat this fast too often, would be to lose the spiritual and thought-insight I've gained. As I was bulimic in my teen years, this cannot become a way of purging or self-mutilation..
I understand now, that if tv and multimedia go away, I can subsist on so little.
There is so much more to life, than what I have done without..
Like my crochet, my life is varied and full, colorful and rich.
Access: Public
