First Fast: Second Notes, 75% of the Way

0700--Sure I'm dying.  I've pecked the "E" key on my laptop so hard, so many times that the thing is popping off.  I'm going through withdrawal now, having not had anything to eat, nothing to drink but water........ok, and I just took an Abilify, for good measure.

The monkey on my back is now all the awful things I want to say to all the folks who, real or imagined, injured me in some way.  I cannot for the life of me imagine why some of the transgressions placed upon my heart, body and spirit seemed so easily applied to me.

Not much for owning, am I?  I don't know how to turn a deaf ear to others, and so I've suffered by my own choice.  I suspect I would have had a better life, as an insane Salieri or a pol sitting aesthetic.

Then too, I ache.........I want to know where these humans that have crossed my path got to be so hardened, so ugly.  The molester.......the wife beater.......the rapist......the fat boy in high school who offered me the family beach house on Cape Cod if only I'd let him lay atop of me during the Preakness.......

We all ache......and I just cry.  No point in blaming now;  every tortured soul from my past yearns for Salvation.......for a spot in Heaven........Goodness, any momentary bit of Bliss would be better than how we've come to loathe ourselves.

Like good servant Pastor Katherine on Maundy Thursday, I willingly would gentle them all, by washing their feet and anointing them with oil.

No one deserves Kindness more, I think, than the Torturers.

(to be continued)