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home economics
September 2008 
BLESSINGS: Abject Fear and How To Buy Toilet Paper
Posted on Aug 23rd, 2008
by 
GwenCaith
GwenCaith
Well, I FINALLY got around to it: I faced the numbers on my bank account....And found I'd, out of parnoia, protectively SAVED nearly $200.00 this month, rather than OVERDRAWING.
For weeks, now, I've been monitoring how much toilet paper I use. Never mind, whether it's two-ply or 1 ply or polka-dot! Food stamps don't pay for paper goods, so things like that have to come out of my $600.00 monthly income....
And two hours ago, accompanied by a breeze courtesy of Tropical Storm Fay, I walked to the nearest retail store-a tiny little American "dollar"-type store, replete with generic supplies of all kinds-and spent over 90 minutes, perusing the aisles.
"Need", I kept repeating; "What is a NEED"?
$31.26 later, I crossed a vacant lot on my way home, laden with three plastic sacs full of staples. Grabbing an extra sunny yellow bag before leaving the stunned saleslady with a smile (hey, I even got some trail mix with chocolate bits in it-God sure allowed CHOCOLATE to make the necessities list!), I stopped at a lone pear tree I'd discovered on one of my walks, and quietly picked 12 small but sweetly soft greeen orbs for display and delight, in my little living room.
Yesterday, after reading of my shame over my innocent state, my crochet friend Jo mused at my writing talent, but yearned for a happy story....
How simply delightful it was, today, to read the labels of the various laundry detergents, and know my fondness for reading both ingredients AND numerical values would enable me to find a lavender-scented laundry cleaner with the most economical number of loads available, within my price range.
Grateful and mindful that I have a companion, Rubys needs didn't go unattended to: I found chicken and sweet potato jerky dog chews in a sampler size of a dozen for less than $2.00, and a stuffed fleece fish toy with a squeaker that she can take naps with, for only a few pennies.
Nearly, though, I broke into tears, when I stumbled upon a 21 oz can of a dusty memorial of my childhood: My Grandma Lils beloved "Bon Ami" cleanser for pots and pans was less than $2.00, and a much needed item, prior to packing away for safekeeping skillets and other cookware I rarely use.
Now that I'm home, I realize that few adults ever take such langorous stock of the stuff of daily housekeeping. I know that I hold holy, the patterned toilet paper I DID purchase, as well as the blank prayer journal that I allowed myself.....
You can bet the first entry in THAT, will be a praise to God, for success in figuring out just how rich I truly am.
For weeks, now, I've been monitoring how much toilet paper I use. Never mind, whether it's two-ply or 1 ply or polka-dot! Food stamps don't pay for paper goods, so things like that have to come out of my $600.00 monthly income....
And two hours ago, accompanied by a breeze courtesy of Tropical Storm Fay, I walked to the nearest retail store-a tiny little American "dollar"-type store, replete with generic supplies of all kinds-and spent over 90 minutes, perusing the aisles.
"Need", I kept repeating; "What is a NEED"?
$31.26 later, I crossed a vacant lot on my way home, laden with three plastic sacs full of staples. Grabbing an extra sunny yellow bag before leaving the stunned saleslady with a smile (hey, I even got some trail mix with chocolate bits in it-God sure allowed CHOCOLATE to make the necessities list!), I stopped at a lone pear tree I'd discovered on one of my walks, and quietly picked 12 small but sweetly soft greeen orbs for display and delight, in my little living room.
Yesterday, after reading of my shame over my innocent state, my crochet friend Jo mused at my writing talent, but yearned for a happy story....
How simply delightful it was, today, to read the labels of the various laundry detergents, and know my fondness for reading both ingredients AND numerical values would enable me to find a lavender-scented laundry cleaner with the most economical number of loads available, within my price range.
Grateful and mindful that I have a companion, Rubys needs didn't go unattended to: I found chicken and sweet potato jerky dog chews in a sampler size of a dozen for less than $2.00, and a stuffed fleece fish toy with a squeaker that she can take naps with, for only a few pennies.
Nearly, though, I broke into tears, when I stumbled upon a 21 oz can of a dusty memorial of my childhood: My Grandma Lils beloved "Bon Ami" cleanser for pots and pans was less than $2.00, and a much needed item, prior to packing away for safekeeping skillets and other cookware I rarely use.
Now that I'm home, I realize that few adults ever take such langorous stock of the stuff of daily housekeeping. I know that I hold holy, the patterned toilet paper I DID purchase, as well as the blank prayer journal that I allowed myself.....
You can bet the first entry in THAT, will be a praise to God, for success in figuring out just how rich I truly am.
Access: Public
Gwen, you may not know this, but you have inspired me.
I take tremendous pride in my new 'skills' at home management. I don't call myself 'cheap' or 'thrifty' or any of those awful words that try to place economy into an uncool place. Apart from what do I need, there is also what do I really want? That is the part that gets left out of modern 'economics'! Frankly a lot of junk is put in my space that I have no desire for!
Chococate… yes! Ice cream… OH YES! I recently allowed myself to buy a tub… FOR ME! Not for guests, not for visitors, not for friends coming over… FOR ME!!!
I have no guilt about working it off, and bla bla bla. Work off WHAT? I work hard enough! Hard as HELL!!
What I do get the most thrills from nowadays, now that I truly don't feel the need for piles of money around, is my resilience. When I run out of something - usually because in my distraction I forgot to pick it up lol - I now ask, what do I have in that fridge or cupboard to substitute for it? I have come up with some pretty darn interesting combinations, and yes, I feel fully accomplished then! It's good to know that if I am ever in a bind in the future that I can probably handle myself without going berserk lol
The Zen Masters take pleasure and find worship in the cooking, the cleaning and the … well everyday little things. And they smile while giving service. You, unaware, might be more 'enlightened' than many 'adults'… I am learning to distinguish between spiritual children and spiritual adults now. No judgment, just a far better 'getting' of their states of mind and their level of ego dominance. I just need to keep this in my awareness when I interface with other people.
I honour you for following your blog yesterday with this one on blesssings. I didn't expect that and I feel privileged that I took the time to read the 'series' now lol. I really didn't have anything to contribute yesterday since I am in a state of feeling helpless to help anyone who has been diagnosed with any form of mental illness and has used medication to treat it.
It concerns my spirit greatly and I can only pray for truth to come out as in the usefulness of such methods over the long term. [Many of my friends in the developed world are in some kind of therapy, often including drug therapy for burnout etc. I don't have this as a phenomenon in my world whatsoever; indeed drugs are just not the go-to for much of anything…]
You ought to trust yourself at the heart level and keep doing what you are so soundly guided to do. You lifted this little girl's spirit by bringing such an inspirational message this morning… blessings and miracles ESPECIALLY when you ain't got no money!
Thank you, thank you and thanks again.
Love you, Sherri